Originally Posted by
yzb25
Hmmm, now I want a go:
President Fielzanks walks up to his stage, preparing his n1 speech. The first day was successful, he thinks to himself. The Rumox lynch occurred exactly when he planned it and exactly how he planned it. Reliable, efficient and profitable - like capitalism itself. He had deduced the "information" Dunna constantly harped on about was that he was actually Trotsky. Using his profound, 9000 IQ intellect, he deduced this was the case with 97% accuracy and was 99% sure if he claimed Trotsky Dunna would continue to hide his "information", or noone would give poor Dunna the attention he longed for!
But that was behind him now. In front of him, his two cronies MM and David stood. In front of him, his immaculately written n1 speech was prepared. 'Gentleman, what is the soul of capitalism?', he asked his small audience. 'Money?', MM guessed. 'Waifus?', David asked. 'No' Fielz replied, disappointed in his trash scumteam ('If only yzb was my partner' he internally wished). Out loud, Fielz said: 'Gentleman, the soul of capitalism is meritocracy... But how, do you accumulate merit in a game like this?' Fielz answered himself this time: 'I'll tell you how. You DEBATE! Freedom of speech is the blood of our society, after all, so you must debate.' And then Fielz told them his masterplan 'I have deduced the real TPR is unknown, but I shall be using my connections to disconnect him from the game tomorrow. In the meantime, the two of you shall compete for the title of TPR. The winner shall be my Vice-President.'
And so his minions set forth to win his favor. Of course, they would both fall in the end, for the true soul of capitalism is not meritocracy - it is monopoly.